Heaven's Descent and Hell's Ascension
by Akatora Kisaragi
Summary: Seiyra was once a common girl with nothing to hide and nothing to fear. When her life is mixed up with the famous Alex Mercer, her life takes a turn for the worst. Just when things seemed to look up, the man she believed she loved is pronounced dead. For months she mourned, until one day that man reappears, alive and well in her house claiming to have amnesia. ALEXxOC
1. C1 The Arrival of a Lost Love

Ah, a new story I started yesterday involving PROTOTYPE. This is my own story that is set after PROTOTYPE 2. If you have not played either, well, I don't see why you are here. If you have not played and beaten PROTOTYPE 2, I would recommend not reading. This contains spoilers about the end of the game. Seiyra and Raicheal are both my characters. Like all my stories(Though only two have now been posted) all rights are reserved to the rightful owners. I don't own PROTOTYPE sadly, nor do I own Alex Mercer. But I secretly do. 3

The name of this story is long, so I could not add the chapter title. The chapter's title is 'The Arrival of a Lost Love'.  
As time goes by, I will shorten the story title to HDHA when necessary.

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Not so long ago, a plague swept over New York City. It was later discovered that a man by the name of Alex Mercer created this virus. The first time was believed to be unintentional, from what was heard. The second outbreak of the virus was intentional. No one knows why he did what he did, but they know what he was trying to do. In his eyes, he hoped to create a perfect world in which humans did not live. He had hoped to create the perfect race.

However, a man by the name of James Heller intervened. He eliminated Alex Mercer with ease. Later it was told he did such a thing to rescue his daughter who Mercer had planned to use as a sort of test subject. In some ways it was noble, in another manner, many hated him for killing Mercer.

There is only one person left that hates that man. The others who hated Heller were killed when he eliminated all of the infected. There are no complaints there, no one liked them.

To have killed the man the last survivor trusted most, the man who had risked his life, or lack of, multiple times to attempt to save her; truly, such a thing was unforgivable. That girl who wished to exact revenge, but knew she had no chance... That girl is me.

At one point in time, I had believed I was in love with Alex Mercer. When I had heard he'd died, I cried. For days I did nothing. What I did do, I did in a trance-like state. That is, until Dana Mercer visited me. Somehow, she helped me; she seemed to have healed me. Before I knew it, I no longer thought of Alex or cried when I heard his name. The only remainders of my feelings for Alex were my memories and the fact that I cringed each time I heard his name.

Dana Mercer, sister of Alex Mercer, as the name states, disowned her brother because of what he had done. Why she cares for me is unfathomable. She should see me as a threat, too. She should, but I am glad she does not. I need her, more than even she knows. I feel that if she wasn't here, I would be consumed relentlessly by that darkness.

"Seiyra(Say-ruh)?" Dana Mercer spoke from beside me. I looked up, having been looking at the hands folded in my lap.

"Yes?" I looked into Dana's grey eyes. Those eyes that, had I not known better, could easily be mistaken for Alex's, but only in color. Those beautiful grey eyes made me wish I could have at least kissed Alex once. Only one time... I jumped back, away from Dana. Her eyes widened slightly, then narrowed with understanding. She looked away from me, allowing her hair to cover her eyes. I, too, turned my head away from her. "I am sorry." I knew she didn't know what my thoughts were, but the fact that I had thought of kissing Alex, or even thought of him in general, was both dangerous and uncomforting.

"As I was saying, Raicheal(Ray-she-ale) was thinking of coming over. She wanted me to ask if you were wanting company other than just myself." Dana looked back over at me, and immediately, the thoughts of Alex returned. I shoved them down, and focused on her words. I looked over to her again, directly into those magnificent eyes, which shined in comparison to my dull, almost lifeless emerald eyes.

I nodded. "We always come here. Why do we not go out?" I smiled at Dana, all thoughts of Alex gone. Raicheal was only two years older than me, me being twenty-three. She had long, light-brown hair and brown eyes. She was not as tall as me, her standing two or three inches below me. My hair was short, in comparison to hers. While hers reached her lower back, mine only reached a few inches below my shoulders. Hers was light brown, caramel even, and mine was dark brown, almost chocolate-colored.

"I think it would do you some good. Anything in particular?" Dana smiled .

"Ch-chinese!" My head lifted higher, my eyes widened, and a smile found it's way onto my lips. I fought to keep my arms slack against my lap.

Dana laughed at my posture and rested an arm on my shoulder. "Alright, alright! Chinese it is. Don't hurt yourself. I smiled at Dana, my trimmed eyebrows furrowed in embarrassment. She knew I had a weak spot for Chinese food, but I rarely allowed it to show. "I'll go call Raicheal and tell her to meet us at the local Chinese restaurant." I jumped up and nodded.

"I will get ready!" I maneuvered around the couch we had been sitting on, then quickly closed the distance between the couch and my small room. In my room rested only a few wood boxes. The room was too small to be considered a bedroom, but rather clothes room, a closet even. I slept in the main room on the couch, having nowhere else to sleep. I suppose that while I dress, I should explain my living situation.

I live in what was once considered the Red District of New York City. To be exact, I live in what was the Dead Zone. I live here because so few are willing to come here anymore. I do not agree much with people, and because the Blackwatch soldiers still remained in NYC. No one knows why, and I have no way to find out. Even if I did, I would not want to go near them. The building I stay in is... stable, to say the most. I cannot say I have walls to support me, because the walls do have holes, decent sized holes, at that. The floors were, when I first moved in, covered in debris and massive boulders, but I changed that quickly. The floor is dirt now, but at least nothing sharp cut my feet. I have covered a few of the larger holes by stacking boulders, with help from those I still trusted or with blankets covered in dirt so they looked somewhat natural.

In the main room rested the couch, torn and beaten, and a make-shift table made of a decent sized piece of glass and four stones that were equal in height. Really, little else was in the room other than a rather large stack of blankets. With winter being only a few weeks away, those blankets would be completely necessary. Considering it was the beginning of November, the weather was cold enough as is for living in such a... an open space. Absolutely no warmth could be provided from this make-shift house. Still, it was home. It was the only place I had, and I accepted that.

Pulling on a shirt, I shivered. A poor choice in clothes, I suppose, but, at the moment, it was the only clean clothing I had. I wore simply jeans and a black tank-top. It worked, but I was cold. I walked out of the room to see Dana standing in the middle of the room between the couch and the table, staring up at the ceiling, which, surprisingly, was whole. Her arms were crossed, but in a manner that made her look as though she had an attitude.

"Dana? Are you alright?" I walked over to her, an arm extended in front of me, reaching out for her. She flinched back when she saw me approaching.

My eyes flashed and I stepped back. "Oh, it's just you, Seiyra." She exhaled. "I was just remembering some things better left forgotten." She smiled reassuringly then walked over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry. I'm fine." I smiled, but knew she was lying. Any girl who said they were 'fine' was lying. I would know, I am a skilled liar. I will do what I must to ensure others are not worrying about me. "Shall we go get your Chinese?"

"Yes!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. With that, we left the building, squeezing out of a hole in one of the walls. Who uses doors anymore, anyway?

Some thirty minutes later, the three of us stood in the safe part of the Red District, which now goes by a different name, but I never cared to learn it. I was familiar with the previous names, so I stuck with them. It seemed much easier for both me and for my journal.

Ah, my journal. Within this journal, I accounted for everything that happened to me from when I met Alex Mercer and every meaningful encounter with him since. I also wrote what had happened to me while Blackwatch kept me as their test subject for two months. The agony... I wrote about it all. Everything that happened is in that journal. The only person who knows about what happened to me is Dana. Most was by accident, some I told her. One day, Dana found the journal and read it, much to my dismay. She approached me, upset that I didn't tell her and terrified of what consequences may come of the experiments and treatments. Nothing has happened. I am still the same as I was when I was first taken into 'custody'. It seems nothing will ever change.

"Seirya, I swear, you zone out more than I do!" I turned my head and smiled sheepishly at Raicheal. She smiled right back. "We're here."

I looked up and smiled wide. We stood in front of the best Chinese restaurant in the Red District. "Oh, how I could go for some General Tso's Chicken..." I sighed dreamily, imagining the intense, magnificent flavor invading my senses... Oh, now that almost sounded sexual. I smiled lightly, stifling a laugh.

"Let's get inside and eat!" I nodded with equal enthusiasm as Dana. We were all hungry, I am sure, but Chinese is my ultimate favorite food, so I was especially excited.

We entered the shop, chose a spot to sit in which we could look outside, and ordered our food. Now, we wait. Impatiently.

"Seiyra, are you ever going to tell me who you were in love with?"

I flinched at this question. Dana and I both frowned. I had never told Raicheal that I loved Alex, or thought I did, anyway, and since I mentioned having a previous love interest once, she never gave up on trying to know who it was.

"I am not able to tell you, Raicheal. I already told you that." I frowned.

"I know. You've told me this many times!" She raised her voice, but not enough to get anyone's attention who may be listening in.

"I am afraid it will stay that way. Please, drop it." I turned to the side, staring outside. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dana hit Raicheal's shoulder. Nothing that would do damage, but enough to get the message through.

The questions following the arrival of lunch were mainly of my past. Most questions I avoided and lied, others that weren't so personal, I told.

At last, we left. I remembered why I didn't enjoy spending much time with Raicheal; she asked too many questions and never told anything about herself. She seemed to want to know everything about me, and that annoyed me.

Still, I dealt with her because I had only Dana otherwise. It grows lonely with just one person. After a while, it's easy to grow tired of the same person.

"Are we going back to your place, Seiyra?" Dana asked as we began walking down the street. I glanced up at the sky. The sun was barely on the horizon.

"No. I think I would like to sleep." The two looked at me while Dana looked suspicious. "I am alright. Do not worry. I truly am just tired." I smiled reassuringly. Surely they would not see through my lie. Even Dana couldn't.

"Will you make it home alright?" Dana asked.

"Yes. I have made it home at night before." I smiled at her. Turning away from the two, I raised a hand above my head to wave goodbye, then left. Had I been facing the two, I would see them turned in the opposite direction, heading to their own homes.

Looking at the darkening sky, I frowned. Each time I saw Dana, the thoughts of Alex emerged. Each time I saw those familiar eyes, that familiar hair color... I winced.

"Oh, Alex, I wish you had not died. I wish you had not grown to be evil." Voicing my thoughts was something I was normally entirely against, but in this case, in the case of being around Dana, it was one of the few times it happened.

Since the first day I saw Alex, I knew he was special. Not in the sense of his exceptional features and abilities, but because of his dedication to do right. He struggled to eliminate the true cause of the virus. He protected New York City in the end, risking his life to detonate the bomb away from land. He himself had been destroyed in the bomb, but he healed. I, too, was caught in the bomb, but I had ran, hid behind a building that was stable. How I survived was beyond me.

Still, I officially met Alex months after that. I didn't see him often, but I did see him enough to have talked and grown attached to him. I never expressed my feelings, though. Doing such a thing to someone like him... Well, that would be suicide. He does not trust anyone, or he didn't, anyway.

Still, Alex seemed to grow to want to protect me. It could have certainly been some foolish part of mind, because the moment the actions started, I was captured. I had been kidnapped by Blackwatch when they discovered I had affiliations with Alex. They experimented on me, abused me, used me. They did what they wanted when they wanted. Whatever made them happy, whatever satisfied them, they took no pain in doing it.

I moaned at the memories and brought a hand to my head. Looking up, I noticed I stood in front of my home. "Pathetic." My eyes narrowed and I frowned. This is what I had been reduced to. A homeless woman hardly capable of telling her friends she needs help or that she's lonely. "That is what I am. Pathetic and lonely. Miserable. And there is not a person I can share my misery with. Not anymore.

I climbed carefully up the rubble that would lead into my house from the usual hole. With a glance around, I pushed into the hole with ease. My thin frame helped with maneuvering around tight spaces. My house was filled with them. The little light created by the full moon was a delight. For the next two days I would actually be able to see once the sun set. I wouldn't have to waste what little fire I had. The lantern I had was small, and like most other things, make-shift.

I hopped off the stones that made a path to the dirt floor and padded over to the table. I shivered lightly, just now feeling the effects of the cold. I eyed the couch, noticing a bundle of blankets resting edge to edge. I tilted my head to the side. Did I leave blankets on it after all? I shrugged. I pried my shoes from my feet and walked over to the couch. Just as I was about to grab the blankets and move them, I noticed a slow shift that lifted the blankets, then lowered them. The movement repeated multiple times before I had the nerve to grab the blankets.

Grabbing a handful, I quickly threw the blankets aside. I fought to silence a scream. Instead, a small gasp escaped my lips. I stepped back, my hands drawn against my chest. A man rested on my couch, curled into a loose ball. His hair, dark with silver slips in the moon light, was shaggy and rested about mid-ear. He wore jeans and a thick jacket. The jacket held a familiar, glowing design. I knew that if those eyes opened, I would recognize them. Those familiar grey eyes; the way they shined with determination. The way they sparkled when he was praised.

A groan forced me from my thoughts. I stepped back, away from the couch as the figure moved. He turned to the direction I was facing and opened his eyes. My emerald eyes widened as I looked into his beautiful grey ones.

"Alex..." My eyes watered as I stared at the man I once believed myself to love. The man I thought had died. Yet, he was here. Alive. Whole. _In my house. _

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Thank you all for reading! I hope the story was well written, or at least, to your liking! There were many scenes in which I could not decide on which way I wanted them to go, so this took a few hours longer than I expected to finish. Oh, well. At least it is finished!  
I would like to ask you all to review. I don't really care about ratings. I just need to know if this story is worth continuing. So, thoughts?


	2. C2 Amnesia

I have basically no excuses for this delay in chapter two. I'll just go for an outright apology. I can say there is a little bonus for all of your patience. I included a bit in Alex's POV. Now, I know it's quite out of character, but seeing as he has amnesia, I think it's a little more tolerable. I like the idea, because I've never been great at keeping distinct personalities. This is a trait you will find common amongst my stories. I never create more than two characters of my own, and barely include other 'side-characters' unless necessary. Anyway, I'm rambling. Onto my 'thanks' section!

I would like to personally thank Gabe97, Desanion, and the three unnamed reviewers for the reviews! I absolutely love positive reviews! They make my day so much brighter and each time I giggle like a little girl with a crush! Haha, random fact. Anyway, let's get on with the story, shall we?

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Alex stared at me for a moment before he lept up, maneuvered over the couch, and landed silently on the ground multiple feet away from me.

"_Who are you_?" His voice, oh,_ his voice_! His voice was husky; sounding as though he was in pain, as well as cautious.

"A-Alex, it is me, Seiyra." I reached out at him, desperate. "Please, Alex, I-"

"_Don't touch me_!" Alex forced himself back, as though he was repulsed by me. I flinched and furrowed my eyebrows at him.

Still, I stepped back, lowering my arm. He really didn't recognize me. I looked down at myself, examining my clothes, hair, posture. I guess I really had changed. My hair that had once reached to my lower back now hardly touched an inch above my sholders. My once lively, emerald eyes now seemed lifeless. My once proud, dignified posture now rested slumped and defeated. My once well-fed figure now weighed well under what was considered healthy. No matter how he saw me, I was different.

"Don't talk to me as though you know who I am." His voice was low, threatening.

"I _do_ know you, Alex! Why do you not remember me?" I stepped beside the couch, making my way over to him. I had to show that I was the girl he once knew. The girl who I believe he may have wanted to protect. "I am Seiyra! I swear this to you! I know I have changed, but in my defence, I thought you were _dead_!"

"I told you not to act as though you know me! I don't know anyone named Seiyra!" Again, he flinched away from me.

"Damnit, Alex! Enough of that! You know who I am just as I know who you are!" I inhaled deeply, then glared lightly up at him. "You are the man I met once while you were running from the military. The first time we met, you smiled at me. You made a comment the next time we met months later that my waiting for you was creepy and foollish. And that I should have looked down, instead of staring at the buildings. You had supposedly made fun of my desire to see you for a long time! Fine, but none of that tops the fact that, for several months, you worked to rescue me from Blackwatch!" I cut off and glared fiercly at him, breathing heavily.

"I don't remember any of this. Stop lying!"

"God damnit, Alex Mercer, I am not lying!" I threw myself forward and grabbed at the collar of his jacket. "You listen to me, you asshole! I am not lying! I knew everything about you! About how you wished to save New York and eliminate those who made you this way. About your past, about your sister, about-"

"I have a sister?" Alex cut me off, his voice breaking.

My grip on his jacket slacked. "Y-yeah. You do not remember? You do not remember Dana?" I paused, then my eyes widened. "My god, Alex, do you have amnesia?"

Alex brought a hand to his forhead and stepped back. His mouth was slightly parted and his eyes closed tight.

"You do, Alex! Oh, god damn that Heller!" My teeth grit to cover the despair that overwhelmed me. "How could he do this to you?" Even with clenched teeth, my voice still cracked. My grip tightened back on Alex's jacket. I pressed my head against his chest, my eyes tightly closed. I would not cry, or rather, I could not. I seemed to have lost my tears long ago. Alex did not move except to lower his arm that pressed against his head to his side. He did not attempt to comfort to me or to hold me. He simply stood there.

Without looking, I was certain he looked as awkward as he felt.

Releasing several profanities, I felt myself begin to relax. It felt good to release the frusterations that had continued to build since Alex disappeared. I felt as though if Alex was to never remember me now, I would be alright, because I now knew he was still alive. A sudden idea struck me. I threw myself away from Alex and stared up at him. I examined every feature on his face; the curve of his lips, his brows, his eyelashes, eyes, nose, ears, hair color, _everything_.

"How do I know you are in fact Alex and not Heller?" My posture was guarded. At least, as guarded as a hundred-pound girl can get.

"I don't know who Heller is, and I cant even really guarantee my name _is_ Alex Mercer, but it is one of the three things I do remember."

"What... do you remember?" I hesitated in asking, but I felt it was to be expected.

"I remember what I believe is my name, Alex Mercer, and I believe you clarified that." He paused. "I remember that... I am not good." He trailed off, then stepped around me. I turned to watch him as he lept over the couch and sat on it with a light _thump_. I followed, sitting under a foot away from him, but with enough distance to leave a comfortable silence. Well, for me, anyway. I was simply happy to have him near.

"Alex?" I looked over to him after he still had not talked for several moments. "What was the other thing?"

As I stared at him, he seemed to contemplate telling me before he extended his hands in front of him. He then looked over to me, his hands still hovering above his knees. I glanced between those hands, those hands who I had once held against my cheek, that _he_ held against my cheek, and his eyes, those beautiful, grey eyes.

"I remember being able to do_ this_." With the last word, I watched as his normal, human hands were replaced by the infected claws. My breath escaped my parted lips in what could only be clasified as a gentle sigh. When did I find attraction in these features? I remember that for a split second, a long time ago, they frightened me. Then I found beauty in them, but I did remain hesitant with them. Now I find myself relieved to see them? What a contradiction.

I extended my hand out, leaving it hovered over the claws. I looked at Alex's grey eyes and held them. "May I?" For a moment, he didn't seem to know what I was asking. When understanding sank in, he nodded lightly. I waisted no time in gently grabbing his infected hand and pulling it into my lap, examining it.

"You didn't react like I expected. I expected you to run or scream, if not both." He spoke just loud enough for me to hear him. He seemed to sound slightly relieved as well as cautious.

"I was not lying when I said I knew you, Alex." My hands trailed lightly over every ridge, every bump, every crevice of the strange, marvelous infection. "You would never let me touch them before, you know. You were always afraid I would get infected with contact. I think that was what you were thinking, anyway. I never could tell with you."

"You said your name is Sarah, right?"

"No, it is Seiyra. Spelt S-E-I-Y-R-A."

"Seiyra..." I drew my eyes from his infected hand to his face. His head was down, facing his lap. He appeared to be thinking.

"Is something wrong, Alex?" With a flinch, he turned to me.

"Yes, sorry. I was trying to remember."

I pondered this for a moment. Maybe it would be best if he never remembered. Was I truly willing to accept the idea of him never remembering me, though? Yes. I could. If it made him happy, I would do anything. "Perhaps..." I paused, then continued slowly. "Perhaps not remembering may be best. I mean, at least you can start a new life, figeratively speaking." I looked down at my hands which I moved to my lap. He never moved his hand, and it now rested on my thigh. I allowed my hair to create a form of curtain between him and me. My eyes closed and my form slumped.

Even if he was to remember me one day, what was to say the things I believed in were true? What's to say he actually felt the way he appeared to? Nothing. Nothing in my world was certain anymore. Nothing except for absolute lonlieness. That was the only thing that could be guaranteed in my life anymore.

Without looking up, I spoke to Alex. "Hey, you no longer have a home, right? You can stay here. It is not much, but the couch can be... decent, if you hit a certain angle."

"This is your home?" The hint of laughter in his voice made my face flush. I froze at this. How long had it been since anything made me blush?

"O-oh, um, yeah. This is my home. Sad, isn't it?" My body jolted the moment the words slipped from my mouth. My eyes squeezed shut and I tensed, waiting for some sort of pain that was certain to follow.

"Seiyra?" Alex's voice sounded distant, far away. The only thing that struck through my mind was that there was a man beside me.

Unconsciously, I threw myself to the side, away from the form which held no specific details. Though I looked directly at the figure, I only saw black and two bright blue lights where eyes should have been. Vaguely I understood this was only a memory playing out in detail, but the fear was all too eminent to be ignored.

"Hey, what's wrong?" That voice again. I blindly stepped away from the source, but in the attempt, tripped over something soft. I landed harshly on the object, which seemed to be quite massive.

How strange it felt to be aware of what was reality but be living out a memory. The figure moved to me. It lifted a hand. In a desperate attempt to escape, I threw myself onto the ground. I covered my face with one hand and reached out blindly for something with the other.

"Please, please, I'm sorry. Don't hurt me, I'm sorry!" I gasped as the memory of a kick to my back overwhelmed my senses. "I'm sorry! I won't- I will talk properly!" I gasped again when my back arched as another kick hit the same area as before. "I am sorry! Please, stop! I will never talk like that again! I swear!" The black figure stepped away from me, the memory, while the figure from reality hunched over me. I attempted to move away from it, even with the vague knowledge that it most likely would not harm me. My head lifted to meet familiar grey eyes.

A hand lightly touched the side my head gently pushing my head onto the ground. My eyes remained wide but as the hand began to stroke my hair, I began to calm. My breathing came in jagged breaths and my eyes began to close. "Forgive me. Forgive me." I repeated this mantra until it was hardly anything other than mumbled words. Through all this, I did not shed a single tear. It seems nothing can make me cry anymore. This was my last thought before a haunting darkness consumed me.

I swear I heard a set of comforting words before unconsciousness won over.

Alex Mercer's POV

I hardly knew what I just witnessed. One moment the girl, Seiyra, as she called herself, was talking like any normal person would. Then in the next, she was like a completely different person. She seemed to be hysterical.

She claimed to be kidnapped by a group in which I attempted to save her from for several months. If this was true, this must have sparked something in her. Certainly that group harmed her somehow. This innocent-looking girl. How old was she, anyway? She appeared to be around twenty-four when awake, but right now, she seemed even younger.

When her panics subsided, I attempted to comfort her. I didn't know much, and I don't know if I was ever good at such a thing, but somehow stroking her hair seemed like a good idea. It seems as though the idea was logical, because within minutes, she was asleep. However, as she attempted to sleep, she continued to utter a phrase until the only thing I heard was a mutter of syllables.

"You're forgiven. I don't know what for, but you're forgiven." What was I saying? Was this normal for me? I grimaced and brought my hands to my face and pressed hard against my eyes. Why couldn't I remember? _What_ couldn't I remember? Did I _want_ to remember? Or would I be better off not remembering as she suggested?

Now is not the time to wonder. I leaned forward, extending my arms beside the small frame of the girl. I carefully and gently slid my hands under her frame, maneuvering around the blanket she lay on, and lifted her. By accident, my hands clenched, and when one did, I noticed how thin her stomach was. She was underweight. Severly so.

Seiyra stirred and positioned herself comfortably against me. She seemed to get closer as her body leaned against me and her head rested lightly against my chest. Perhaps I did know this girl after all because somehow... this felt right.

If I had any will to smile, I feel I would have smiled now. With having no memory, though, and basically no idea of my situation, I could not find the will to. Instead, I settled for closing my eyes and standing, with Seiyra in my arms, in a motionless position beside the couch. My head lowered just above hers. I gently placed my lips against the top of her head then set her down on the couch.

She gripped onto my jacket as I began to pull away. "No, don't go, Alex. You are all I have left. Don't go. Don't go. Please. Don't leave me all alone again." Based on her appearance, I would assume she was still asleep, but I couldn't be certain.

Still, how could I leave an innocent child? Her age no longer mattered. Not in her situation. I leaned down beside her ear and whispered gently.

"I won't leave you. Sleep now, Seiyra. I promise to still be here in the morning." I grimaced at the words. How strange they sounded to me. Why did they sound strange, though? Was I not the affectionate type? Was I just a complete villian, per say? I frowned. Why was I considered evil? What made me do such a thing? Surely it could not have been because of a girl? Not this girl. I am certain I would not forget such a strong emotion. ...Would I?

I have far too many questions and not enough answers. To find the truth, what would I have to do? Is there anything I could do?

The girl shifted, releasing my jacket at last, and moved onto her side, curling into a loose ball. Her face was gentle now, relaxed. An immense difference compared to the blatant fear that held her face only minutes ago.

What caused her to react in such a way? Rather, what could have happened to ensure she reacted in such a way? The group that kidnapped her was certain to have had some sort of role in this, I'm certain.

I don't know what they did to this innocent girl, and I'm sure I have no right to know, but that didn't keep the curiousity at bay. I wanted to ask. In some sick, twisted way, I wanted her to remember, to relive those memories again. I wanted to comfort this girl while she cried, I wanted to revel in the fact that she _was_ crying.

I brought a hand to my face and grimaced. What was this? Why did I want such a thing? To desire something so heartless... Such an emotion should be criminal. But then, it most likely was.

Casting aside the beastly thoughts, I positioned myself in front of the couch on the floor. My back pressed lightly against the arm rest, only a few inches away from Seiyra's head. I glanced back, over my sholder, and looked at her. She was still asleep, still vulnerable. I suppose this desire to protect her came from vague memories -of a sort- from before. Perhaps it has to due with her innocent appearance.

Regardless of what the reason is, I owed this girl. After all, she did take me in. On top of that, she knows who I am, or at least about me. Perhaps my questions could be answered by her. How much does she know about me? ow much did I know about her? There were only two ways to find out, and the latter of the two didn't seem likely. Either ask her and get what I can, or find a way to recall my memories. Again, the latter did not seem likely. I can only hope that she is capable of giving what I want to know. I guess I will find out tomorrow.

Until then, we both need rest. Turning back around, I pulled my knees up and rested my arms over them. Before I knew it, my eyes were closed, and sweet darkness consumed me.

* * *

Ah, I cannot deny that writing Seiyra's breakdown was embarrassing. I really hate to post it because I feel a bit ashamed of how weak she was during this time. But a writer should never be ashamed of her work or of what her character does, right? Seiyra has had it rough, we all know this. Er, well, I know this better than anyone. Soon enough there will be peaks into Seiyra's experiences while being imprisoned by Blackwatch in each chapter. Actually, soon enough, the story grows to be in mostly Alex's POV in a certain way. Ah, you'll find out what I mean in two or three chapters.


	3. C3 A Petty Attempt, and an Interesting

Because the title was too long to fit in the box thingy, I will clarify what it is here: "C3 A Petty Attempt, and an Interesting Development".

* * *

Seiyra's POV

I woke groggy, the breakdown from the night before still clear in my mind. I shivered.

Pushing myself into a sit, I gently rubbed my forehead. What happened after the breakdown? Did I retain enough consciousness to pull myself to the couch? Certainly not. I never have before. Each time this happened, I found myself having woken in the relative same spot as where I collapsed.

It was strange, to have woken in a new, mostly comfortable spot. I suppose there has to be a first time for everything.

Yawning, I lightly tossed the blanket wrapped around my frame off. I maneuvered my legs over the edge of the couch and accidentally hit something. For a moment, nothing registered, after all there was nothing fragile other than the glass table several feet in front of me, out of reach.

But the moment my mind registered that the object I hit was _warm_, and that I never set anything in front of the couch, my senses woke. Above those facts was the fact that the object _groaned_.

Slowly - whether to not startle it or myself, I was uncertain - I looked down at it. Immediately I recognized it was a male frame. The male's legs were bent up to his chest while his arms crossed over his knees. His head rested lightly on his arms, facing me.

"Alex…" Just remembering the encounter from the night before, I shivered, partially from excitement but also from fear. Not because I was scared of Alex. Nothing like that. No, I was scared of losing him again.

I slid off the couch and onto the ground beside him. I crouched down as I looked at his features. It was amazing how he looked exactly the same as I had last seen him.

My confused expression faded and was replaced with a gentle one as I stared at Alex's calm expression. His eyes were closed and his lips lightly parted. When awake, his features appeared sharper, but when asleep, he looked younger and almost fragile. But then, this may be due to his amnesia.

"You know, I'd imagine it can be seen as strange to watch a person sleep."

I released a yelp and fell back onto the floor the moment Alex spoke. I didn't notice until now that his eyes had opened. "You are awake!"

"It took you long enough to notice."

I blushed and turned to the side, a look of shame gracing my features.

I heard Alex chuckle beside me, and I couldn't help but smile.

"You hardly seem that different…" I murmured. "You enjoyed teasing me back then, too." I smiled lightly at the memories.

"Telling me these things does nothing. I'm sorry." I looked up at Alex as his voice seemed to hold genuine solemnity. I shook my head.

"Do not be sorry. It is not your fault. You did not ask to have amnesia. I will not, or rather, cannot blame you for this." To emphasize the genuine truth behind my words, I smiled at him.

"I suppose." With that, Alex turned his head from me and lowered it so that he was looking at his folded arms.

"Alex, if you would not mind, or if you would like, I could tell you of some of our previous experiences. See if it might awaken something." I suggested lightly. Honestly, I didn't think he would approve, but I figured it would get our minds to focus on a happy time we shared. I think I had just the one in mind.

"I suppose you could. But I make no guarantees as to what will happen."

"Of course. Neither of us knows what will happen. It will be like… a trial and error. If it does not work, we will try something different." I pushed myself from my sitting position and stood beside Alex. "Hold on. I will get my journal, and read an entry." Alex nodded lightly and I stepped carefully over him and into my room.

I glanced outside of the small makeshift doorway to see if Alex was watching, to which he was not. I slid my hand under my poorly furnished mattress and pulled out my journal, filled with some thirty entries, and still going. Every so often, when my mood reached a certain point, I would add a more recent event to my entries. I hadn't added one for some three weeks now, so more than likely, I would here soon.

I stared at the journal for a moment before standing. I turned, and left my room.

"Here we are. I will start with a more positive entry." I positioned myself back beside Alex, before setting the journal onto my lap. I paused.

"Something wrong?"

"Mm… You know that I like you, right?" Alex nodded. "Alright. That is all I needed to know. We shall start with…" I paused, skimming, back to front, through the journal, "this one." I stopped at entry number two, because it was the day I first met Alex. A day I would like for him to remember.

"What is this one about?"

"It is the day you and I first met. I mention a few things I would have liked not to mention, but I should not hold back. You may get your memories back one day, and for them to be so unexpected…" I trailed off. Shaking my head, I smiled. "Let us start."

…

For the purpose of things, mostly my personal emotions and mental sanity, I am going to write about a happier time, before I was kidnapped; the day I met Alex Mercer.

It was a normal Sunday evening. I didn't work on Sundays or Wednesdays, mostly because my boss never liked overworking her employees. I worked for a local business that sold fresh fruit at indefinitely fair prices. We weren't a scheming business, bent on stealing money from our customers. Granted, things were tough because of it, but we pulled through, never using or getting more than what we needed. But, now I'm just rambling. But, hey, these were the best times of my life. I enjoyed work much more than the average person.

But, back onto what was undoubtedly the best day of my life.

The weather was clear, and the sun was comforting. Mid-Spring was always my favorite time of year, the cool air, the beautiful flowers, in the few areas there were any, and watching friends suffer from allergies. I'd never endured them, so I cannot sympathize with them. Again, I'm rambling. I do that a lot...

Alex was something of a... celebrity around this city. Everyone knew of him, some idolized with him, some were curious, but most feared him.

Me? Well, I was a mix of all three. I was curious as to what he was, and what happened for him to endure such a change in his humanity. I idolized his strength and ability to do what was necessary to get what was best for the people around him. At the same time, I feared him. I knew he was something of a, well, monster, in the least offensive use of the term. He was human, as well as not human. Perhaps 'Advanced Human' would be a good term, something much less offensive than monster, and much more suiting.

But I first encountered Alex after making a run to my work to buy some fruit for a fruit salad. I can't say I'm one to generally eat healthy, but I do love a good fruit salad.

With a bag of strawberries, red raspberries, and mandarin oranges, I made my way home. Several coworkers talked with me for a few minutes; the ones that weren't busy. This held me up some, but it wasn't like I had any plans or anything. And looking at it, it's a good thing they did. Because, had I left just a minute earlier, I certainly would have missed him; missed Alex. And that is something I would have grown to regret; never knowing him before he experienced something that upset him so greatly, he wished to simply destroy the world.

Of course, things were… awkward at first, awkward, then painful. I was rather nervous and cautious, and he wasn't all that happy to be around people. I could sense it with his posture, and, well, his obvious sneers at the people around him. He was walking down the street, shoving some people out of his way, and avoiding others.

When he came to my side, he shoved out an arm, pushing me over. The shove was so violent and unexpected that I tripped over my foot and slammed into the building beside me, head first. I released a small shout, the instant headache and blurry vision overwhelming me. What I assumed were my bags lay on the ground beside me, some of the contents spilled out.

With an attempt to grab at my items, I realized immediately that was not a good idea. The moment I attempted to move, a sharp pain split through the right side of my head. I groaned and lifted a hand to my head, then examined my hand. As I expected, there was blood.

What I didn't expect was a hand to reach into my vision and grab at my wrist. Instinctively, I attempted to pull my hand away, but the grip was strong. With blurry sight, I looked up at the figure. I blinked several times, successfully managing to clear my vision enough to realize the person touching me was Alex Mercer.

In one swift movement, he pulled me to my feet and pushed my back gently against the wall. I leaned against it for support the moment he released my wrist.

"What are you-" I watched as he bent down and grabbed my fruits, placing them back into the bag. He rose, then held them out to me.

"I'm sorry." His voice, oh god, _his voice_. It was not what I had been expecting at all. No, this was so much better than what I'd expected.

"It's… It's alright. I'm fine. I'll just…" I placed a hand on my forehead and groaned, "go home and rest or something." I frowned, realizing I wouldn't be able to eat my fruit salad like I'd hoped.

"Allow me to help you."

"I'm sorry?" Surely I heard wrong. There was no way the Alex Mercer was offering his help to a random girl he hardly knew. Not when he is who he is, and not when anyone can be an enemy. But, no, I heard right.

"I said, allow me to help you. I will take you home."

I hesitated, then asked slowly, "In what fashion?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know who you are, and sort of know of the things you can do." I thought for a moment. "Are you going to take me there the… hard way?"

"That depends on what you consider the hard way."

"That jumping and gliding you do. That sounds terrifying." Alex laughed at this, then grabbed at me gently. He maneuvered me against his side, pushing one of my arms over his left shoulder and the other around his waist. I yelped, gripping tightly both him and my bag of fruits when he suddenly jumped into the air.

"I guess I don't have to tell you to hold on!"

"You're an ass!" In just a matter of minutes, I established this.

"I know!"

"And cocky!"

He laughed at this, too, and also agreed. I cracked a light smile at it, but didn't allow him to see.

Suddenly, we landed, but that didn't last long, because the moment we did, he jumped again, and we were soaring through the air.

I kept my head so close to his chest, that I was certain I got blood on his jacket.

"Are you even looking at what's beneath you?" Alex shouted out.

"No! I'm too scared to look!"

"Afraid of heights?"

"Not really, no! I love heights; it's _you_ I'm afraid of! What if you drop me?" I pushed myself tighter against him at the thought.

"Oh, just look!" I shook my head frantically at this. "You won't get another chance like this, woman, just do it!"

"Oh, fine!" I lifted my head, only to lose my breath almost immediately. "Oh, wow…" Granted, it wasn't the most beautiful thing in the world, seeing the city from up this high was certainly a pleasure. I'd never been in a plane, or any flying aircraft. This was the highest I'd ever been, and it was _breathtaking_.

"See? Worth it?"

"Yeah… Definitely…" And it was. Never would I change the fact that I looked. _Never would I change the fact that I met Alex Mercer._

"And… Here we are." I froze at this. He was indeed before my house. And I never gave him directions.

"I don't want to know how you know where I live." I shook my head, stepped away from him as he landed lightly.

"It's a sense I have. I can sense where anything is that I'm searching for."

"Hey, I said I didn't want to know!" I laughed, hitting his chest lightly. "Anyway, Alex, you should probably get back to your life. I'm sure you have things that must be tended to, yes?"

He nodded at this. "Then goodbye, woman."

"Hey, before you go, the name's Seiyra. Not to be confused with Sarah. Mine is spelt S-E-I-Y-R-A; pronounced say-ruh. It was nice meeting you." I lifted my hand as a farewell gesture, expecting him to shake it.

"Alex Mercer, as you apparently know. It was nice meeting you, Sarah." He smirked at this, and jumped away onto the nearest building as to avoid my hitting him.

"I said it's Seiyra!" I shouted at him.

All I heard was a vague sound of his laughter as he leapt away and out of sight. And out of my life for three months.

Gently, almost to myself, I whispered, 'Goodbye,' and turned to my house, going inside, shutting the outside world away.

That night I had my fruit salad. It was delicious, but I missed work for the next two days with a minor head injury that caused a massive migraine and frequent dizzy spells.

Still, that Sunday was the best day of my life. I wouldn't take it back for the world.

…..

I inhaled deeply as I finished reading. "That would be entry number two, according to my journal. Honestly, I should have started with my encounters with you first, and not my-" I cut off, not willing to say what I actually started with. "Other events," I finished off with.

Alex was silent beside me, his gaze seeming distant. "You stress your name often, don't you?" He snickered playfully when he asked this.

"Very often. And you enjoyed pronouncing it wrong, and calling me Sarah. A part of me…" I trailed off. I shook my head, then lowered it.

"A part of you…?" He urged me to continue.

"…A part of me hoped it was a form of affection showing through. But I knew better than to hope someone like the amazing Alex Mercer could like a common woman like Seiyra Valasil. And that is alright. I knew better than to hope for such a thing, and I mentally prepared myself to never feel affection from you." I waved my hand almost comically and chuckled in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry."

"Alex, do not be. As I said, it did not hurt. Mental preparation is the best prevention!" I smiled wide, and lifted my pointer-finger, as if I was stating a fact.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Stay so positive when you have so much of a reason not to be?"

"Well… it is not exactly easy." I started, facing the wall in front of me distantly. "I mean… I have endured a lot of suffering, but dwelling on it had gotten me nowhere. If I did not try to recover, I would have probably committed suicide in an absentminded way. When I dwelled on everything, the only thing I did was sit in a corner and think. I would relive what I had experienced constantly, and only worsen what I had thought of myself."

I inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly. "In simpler words, it was hard, but when I accomplished it, I had found that I felt much better. It took a long time, I would say… some three months. And I did not recover alone. I actually… had the help of your sister, Dana."

"My sister helped you? She sounds like a kind person."

"She is. She can be assertive if she believes it is necessary, but she is generally a joy to be around, though I would never admit it to her face." I glanced at him. "I just… I do not know how she would take your return…"

"Why? Weren't we close?"

"Yes, you were… But when you grew to be… Destructive, she distanced herself. Whether it have been in fear or loss of care because of what you became, I am uncertain. I never asked, because it was personal."

"I see… I did a lot of harm, didn't I?"

"…Yeah. You did. But I am certain you had a reason. You were never one to do something rash without reason. I knew you fairly well, and that was a certain trait of yours."

Alex thought for a while, then spoke, asking a question I didn't expect.

"Seiyra, what day is it?"

"Um… If I am correct, Sunday. Why do you ask?"

"Do you have plans anytime soon?"

"Uh… Yeah... Tomorrow. Why are you asking this?"

"I want to atone for what I have done. It may be a… desire to simply right what I did wrong to you, but it's a start."

"I see… Tomorrow I will be gone for a few hours. I have to go run some errands and pick up a few things. If you could watch my home to make sure no one gets in, that would be wonderful."

"I can do th-" I cut him off.

"Wait. That is not all. I have one request of you. This is not a demand… but I would definitely appreciate it if you would comply."

"Go on." I turned to Alex, to find him already facing me. I stared directly into his eyes.

"Please do not leave me."

Alex seemed taken aback by this, but I never allowed my gaze to falter. "Alright. I won't leave. I promise."

Relief washed over me immediately, and a smile followed quickly after. "Thank you, Alex."

"You're welcome, Seiyra."

I leaned back against the couch and looked up at the roof of my home. I tilted my head to the side, amazed at how quickly night came.

"It is already night."

"Nice observation."

"Oh, shut up." Still, I smirked at his remark. "I suppose we should get to sleep, yes?"

"Probably. You'll be sleeping in your room?"

"Yeah." I stood then stretched with my arms above my head. Before turning to my room, I grabbed my journal. "I cannot just leave this around, now can I?"

"It's not like I would read it, though. It's yours."

"I suppose." I paused. "Anyhow, I am off to sleep. Try resting a while."

"I'll try."

"That is all I ask. Goodnight, then. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight, Seiyra." A blush spread across my face, at the sound of my name being said by him. Thankfully I was no longer facing his general direction, and instead had my back to him.

"Y-yeah. Goodnight."

Alex chuckled behind me, obviously aware of my embarrassed stature.

"Sh-shut up." I groaned lightly as I walked into my room. I put a hand over my flushed cheeks as I stepped around a corner in my room so that Alex could not look behind him to see me. I bent over slightly, in an attempt to flush the redness away. After a few seconds, it worked.

It was heartbreaking; how he was able to say my name with such distance and it still be his voice. I took in a ragged breath, then straightened. It was no use brooding over the fact that he forgot me. Not when he was right outside my room. Not when he was so close. That should be enough for me, and yet…

I didn't think I'd ever be the same after this encounter and knowing that Alex would never remember me. How I wish I could go back to the day I met Alex. It was a carefree time; a happier time. I miss those days so badly, I was growing willing to do anything to get them back. Anything to get the one I once believed I'd loved back.

But, all was hopeless, wasn't it? The sooner I accepted that, the easier things would be.

* * *

I just want to apologize wholeheartedly about the long delay. Honestly, I have no excuses other than lack of interest and severe lack of ideas. I have a goal, but getting there is a bit of a task. The next chapter will be phase one of my plan. And it will continue on from there. Anyhow, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I am hoping, but not promising, to have the next chapter up here decently soon.


	4. C4 A Startling Discovery on His Part

I should warn you about the language and as well as sexual encounters, though it's brief.

* * *

"Alex, I must be going now. Otherwise I will miss the event." I avoided Alex's gaze as best I could, absolutely certain I didn't look all that great. He kept his eyes on me, however.

"What is it?"

"I will tell you later. I cannot afford to lose anytime with chat. Do not leave! You promised!" With that, I turned from Alex and maneuvered myself through a crack in the wall and jumped down, disappearing from Alex's sight.

Alex's POV

Today she seemed different, tense even. It was easy to see the dark circles under her eyes. I had noticed them before, especially the day I met her, but today they seemed more prominent. She seemed exhausted, somehow. And through all that, not once did she make direct eye contact.

Maybe she was testing me. I hardly know the girl, and I wouldn't put it past her. And because of that, I will be waiting several minutes before I decided to do what I was planning.

But it was strange; of all the things she asked of me, she didn't want me to leave her. She didn't ask for me not to invade into her privacy, or not to destroy her home, or some other action; no, she asked me not to leave. Why? Was she truly just _that_ lonely?

This child, this girl just really was helpless. It was a wonder how she even managed to survive this long.

I did have my plans, though. When she leaves, and every time she leaves, I planned to read an entry or two in her **journal**, as she calls it.

The faint sound of a rock falling caught my attention. In a split second, unintentional but helpful, my hands morphed into claws. I took a cautionary stance, claws out beside me, facing the general direction of the sound.

I stood in the same stance for several moments before I realized it was just a stone falling from place. Immediately, the moment I calmed, the claws disappeared. In place were my normal hands.

Assuming that Seiyra had left, I walked over to the couch and sat back down. I sat for several minutes before standing again.

Now would be the best time to do it, if I truly intended to.

Silently, I made my way to her room. It wouldn't be hard to find the journal, not with such a small room. Surely there wasn't some hidden compartment.

And with a check under her mattress, I realized I was right. There it was, in all its tattered, black glory. I grabbed at it gently, as to not leave any form of evidence of my prying.

I opened it and started immediately reading the first entry.

…

All entries were posted at an unknown time. The only thing I can hope to describe is the season. On that note, I will start with the day I was kidnapped. I will write each entry as though I was writing a book. First person and present-tense.

It was late. I remember that much. I had spent the day with Alex as he gave me a personal tour around the city. I must say it was terrifying at first, his gliding, jumping, climbing... Once I adjusted, though, it was wonderful. He held me close to him, thank god it was at an angle in which he could not see my expression, because I am certain my face was red the entire time. I had no complaints, though. I clung to him without hesitation, I gripped the front of his shirt while my other hand wrapped around the shoulder my body rested against. It's strange that I remember this so easily and can't remember what season it was.

Still, this chapter is not about Alex. Not at this time, anyway.

Blackwatch, a newly created form of military, had been waiting at my apartment. The moment I stepped inside and closed my door, I was shoved onto the floor. Something hard and large shoved into my back and kept me pinned to the floor. I groaned, attempting to move.

"Seiyra Valasil?" A voice spoke. It was masculine, but it also spoke from behind a mask that changed how the voice sounded.

I struggled to escape. "Depends on who's asking." I grit my teeth as the object dug further into my back. "Stop that!" I huffed and stopped struggling.

"Doctor." The voice spoke. A set of feet approached me from my right. They were blue, as were the legs. I turned my head to the side to see that the entire person was enveloped in a blue suit. I grimaced. How hideous.

The doctor bent down over me and lowered something to my neck. I attempted to move away from the item, but that only lead to the object to press even harder into my back.

A hand shoved my partially raised head onto my hardwood floor, causing me to yell out. I blinked rapidly, attempting to see through the forming black spots.

"Will you hurry up?! The boss will not be pleased if we're late!" The words were distant, but I was able to hear enough.

A sudden prick on the side of my neck caused me to flinch, but I made no sudden attempts to move or struggle. A burning sensation followed the prick moments later. My hands clenched at the hardwood, trying to find something to grab on to. I found nothing but flat wood.

Suddenly, the world faded with a dizzying swirl. Before I lost all consciousness, I heard a man mutter, "Take care not to harm the body too much."

Then, I fell into an unsettling abyss.

I dreamt during that time. Of Alex Mercer. I had dreamt of our day up until it was cut off by a group of men. One in a strange blue suit. Then, I dreamt of nothing.

_On a side note, I found a shard of a mirror not so long ago. There remains a spot on my neck where I believe the doctor injected me with a drug called MA5839-1. They created it themselves. I heard it talked about a lot while held captive. I believe they said it contained some of Alex's blood, which contains his transformation abilities, as well as some infected genes. It also contained morphine which all helped to knock me unconscious. _

_My body could do nearly nothing for the next week as it fought to recover from the drug; as it attempted to reject the Mercer virus. From what I am aware, my body won. I never showed symptoms. I never transformed. I have no inhuman abilities. Trust me, they tried many things to find out I was a 'dud'. That nothing could infect me. _

….

So she really had been kidnapped. A part of me was skeptical, seeing as I didn't even know the girl. Now I know she was.

To further prove this belief, I intend to examine her neck sometime soon. The only problem is I don't know which side it would be on. It never specified. I would figure it out, without a doubt.

I glanced up. It only took me a few minutes to read that entry. I will continue. Since Seiyra read entry two to me, I will skip to entry three. I turned to the third entry and started reading.

….

I could only manage to make small noises during everything I endured for the next week. No matter what they did, no matter how badly their experiments hurt, I could only moan and weep.

Their experiments were painful and brutal. When things didn't turn out like they wanted, they would make the pain worse either by using more drugs or by beating me. By the fifth day, the pain no longer mattered. I mentally blocked out all outside sources, ignoring everything but my thoughts. I felt no pain, no agony, no emotions, nothing. I simply… was.

Nothing helped get me through these times like the man I fell in love with. I spent my days thinking of Alex, future plans, past moments, what he might be doing… What his feelings were for me, and if I truly loved him or not. I believed I did, truly, I did. But a part of me was hesitant to admit to such an intense emotion. Could I have been blinded by his charm? Believe that because he's treated me so well, he must like me, and that made me believe myself to be in love?

Still, I heard what they talked about. What they said. I could hear everything, I just couldn't feel anything.

"Why isn't she responding?"

"She most likely blocked out the pain. It's a hard thing to do, but it's possible."

"Tch. I liked it better when I could watch her cringe. Watch her suffer in silence." This voice broke out to be more prominent. I had heard his voice countless times, felt his fists and boots many times. He was the one to deal the blows when things went wrong or when having a bad day. No doubt things were broken within my body, but I couldn't feel it now. So it didn't matter.

But, by my guess, two days later, the pain came back all at once. My senses were overwhelmed for several moments before I could do anything. Thankfully I was alone at this time. I screamed. I remember that much. And I screamed for a while. Before I passed out, whether from pain or screaming for too long and losing air, I don't know.

It was three days before I woke again, according to a 'doctor', anyway. I still lay on the floor of the room they kept me in. My body was sore, purple and blue. The 'doctor', who wore a hideous green bodysuit, told me I had three broken ribs, four fractured ribs, a broken arm, internal bleeding, and a minor head injury, of which he would not specify.

Through and through, it was mere luck that I survived considering my inability to absorb the Mercer virus or regenerate. I was a human through and through; a lucky one, by their definition.

"I'm _lucky_? Exactly what," I cut off, catching my breath, "makes you think your captive is lucky? You abuse me, violate me, and use me for," I cut off once again, "your own personal gain and pleasure. How in the _fuck_ am I lucky?"

"Ah-ah. You will not talk to me like that, Miss Valasil." Behind the mask, I could tell he was grinning. It played all too clearly in his voice. "You did two things wrong in your little speech, Valasil." He paused, grabbing something from within a pouch residing on his suit. "First, you spoke against me. That is a no-no. Second, you will not use contractions in my presence or anyone's, for that matter. Should you choose to, you will be beaten until I believe you have learned your lesson. Should I not be there, they can do what they wish. I do not care."

I growled at the man, taking in the threat in his tone, and a larger threat at the needle with a thick red liquid he pulled from his pouch. He flicked at the needle after lifting it, then pressed down on it twice, clearing out any air pockets.

He kneeled down beside my crumbled form on the floor. I ignored the pain as best I could in an attempt to escape his reach. To no avail, as just moments later, I felt an all-too familiar sensation of a slight prick, then an intense burning sensation.

"Again with that _shit_? Haven't you learned that I'm immune, yet?" I never was one to use vulgar words unless angry or in pain. And this pain called for vulgar words. I grit my teeth as I focused intently on the sensation of the spreading burn. It would stop soon enough. The pain would stop shortly.

But that's where I was wrong. The burning stopped, but the moment I started to relax, I felt a painful kick in my side. I yelled out, and reached for the man's ankle. I grabbed it as hard as I could manage, which wasn't strong at all given my current condition. The doctor easily escaped and hit me again. This time he moved behind me and kicked my back.

He repeated these motions for countless minutes before he stopped. He was panting, for some pathetic reason, while I inhaled jagged breaths and clawed at the tiled floor beneath me. All I wanted was something to hold onto.

But no matter what they did, I would not beg. I was strong enough not to beg. I would hold out until Alex found and rescued me. I could manage that long. Any day now, he would show up. He would worry endlessly about me, but I would be safe nonetheless. And in his arms. This was the only thought that got me through the next few months. 'Any day now he'll show up. He'll apologize for taking so long, and take me away from this place.' That was my only thought process able to keep me strong enough to endure everything they did.

"Don't you dare go to sleep, Miss Valasil. I am not finished with you, yet."

I winced at the doctor's tone, knowing full well that that breathless tone held.

"Your figure isn't all that appealing, but you are still female."

I grit my teeth at this. I knew I didn't have all that large of a chest, but for him to comment on it pissed me off. Painfully, I twisted onto my back and glared up at the monster that was a man. Only man could do such a thing. Only a human male would ever do such a thing.

I watched patiently as the man stripped from the green suit. I made myself to look frightened as he climbed out of it, then over to me. He leaned over me, but still stood. Examining his features, I could finally determine an age and appearance.

He had to be at least mid-thirties, with shaggy brown hair that clearly hadn't been washed anytime in the past day, at least. His eyes were green and he was fairly bulky, but nothing high above average.

"Are you ready for the time of your life, dear?"

"Fuck off." I spit at him.

"You will learn."

"Doubt that." With a sneer, the man lowered himself into a crouch above me. I had to hold back a smirk at his open position. Perhaps he under-minded me in my weak state, but not once had my legs been targeted; which was a foolish move on their part.

Without warning, and through a lot of pain, I threw my knee as hard as I could into the man's groin. I shuddered the moment I did. I hated the feeling.

The man shouted out and threw himself to the side, crumbling onto the floor. He curled into a ball as he held himself while groaning.

"As I said, I doubt I'll be learning any lessons today." I panted, still reeling from the pain. "You're lucky I'm not at full health or strength, otherwise you'd never be having children, you _sick_ bastard."

"Oh, you will regret this, Miss Valasil." His voice was a growl, but it didn't faze me. He could kick and hit me as much as he wanted. I didn't care. But no way was I allowing a man to violate me to such a degree as he had in mind. I'd been touched, and that was fine. I had mentally prepared myself for it the moment I was kidnapped. I knew it was going to happen.

I knew _this_ would happen, too, but by no means was I going to allow it to happen without trying to stop it.

"I'd like to see you try and make me regret it, _doctor_." He did just that, only I don't regret defending myself. He only tried to make me regret it.

With a fierce fist into my temple, I saw black spots for a brief moment, then nothing as my head hit the tiled floor with such force, that I lost consciousness immediately.

I don't know what he did to me while I was unconscious, but I know for certain he didn't violate me further. Not with that injury. He wouldn't be able to for at least a week with the force I put into that kick. I put everything I could to ensure he didn't do that. But for how long will I be able to protect myself? Not much longer. I can already tell. A week in and I was already starting to lose hope. Alex was hardly able to keep my hopes up, but he did well enough.

…..

Reading this chapter both amazed and disgusted me. Too many things struck me at once and made me uncertain of what exactly I should think about it.

I knew she had been abused by the men who kidnapped her, but I never thought they would be so relentless. They didn't care in the slightest what happened to her, and this angered me somehow.

The thought enraged me. But then a different thought calmed me. She said she loved me. Even if she is uncertain of those feelings now, she believed that she was once in love with me. Though it calmed me, nothing in particular seemed to spark. No memories, no distinct emotion, other than calmness.

Did I not love her in return? Perhaps everything she has told me was a lie, and so was this journal.

No, that couldn't be. Who would create an entire journal on a man with only a slight chance of actually encountering him, and expecting him to have amnesia? Such a thing would have had to have been planned out… herself…

A thought suddenly sparked. What if she were the one who caused my amnesia? What if everything said and done was a lie that she generated so she could win my affections?

A part of me doubted this suspicion, but a more prominent part, the more cautious part, suspected it may be true, and that I should remain cautious around her.

I placed her journal back where I found it and walked out of her room. The entire process of reading and thinking took a few hours, and she would be likely to come back soon.

So I moved back onto the couch and positioned myself comfortably while I held an internal debate on whether I could trust Seiyra or not.

I truly had no reason not to trust her. The only reason I could not trust her, if I really had to search for one, is because of my amnesia.

I have reason to trust her for her caring attitude, her welcoming me into her home, and her obvious care for _me_.

Who am I to distrust her? Who am I to assume she would go through the pain to win my affections in such a way? I raised a hand to my face and sighed heavily. I felt somewhat guilty for even daring to place suspicions upon an innocent girl.

How could she not be innocent? Why would she work this hard, and risk the life of someone she cared for just to gain their affections?

Too intrigued by my thoughts, I didn't notice the approach of someone beside me until they spoke. "So you kept your promise."

I jumped up, my claws immediately forming and spread beside me.

"Oh, relax, Alex. It is only me." She lifted her arms which each held a bag. "I got us some food. You have not eaten in at least two days, I am certain."

I noticed before how she never talked using contractions, and only now did I know why. I grimaced for a moment, then retracted my claws. "Where did you get it?"

"There is a somewhat local food charity that I visit every so many days when I get too hungry. But now that I have you here as well, I will have to visit it a little more frequently. I cannot have my guest starving!" As Seiyra smiled, I noticed the dark circles under her eyes didn't fade, as I had thought they would have. No, instead they grew darker in the past few hours.

"Hey, are you alright?" I moved over to Seiyra and grabbed the bags.

"Yes, why?" She tilted her head to the side, but was obviously feigning confusion. It was obvious she wasn't feeling well. Even I could see it.

"Why don't you go sit down? You obviously aren't feeling well." I placed the bags in one hand and placed my free hand on her upper back. Gently, I pushed her toward the couch.

"H-hey, what are you doing? I feel fi-" I cut her off with a slightly harder push.

"Don't lie to me. I can tell you aren't feeling good, Seiyra." The moment I spoke, she froze.

"I am not lying. I am perfectly fine, Alex. Why are you being so pushy?" From my angle, I could not see her face, and I suspected I didn't need to. She generally blushed when I said her name, this I noticed.

"Seiyra Valasil. Either you lay down, or I will force you down." I didn't mean to be so rude or personal, but I needed to get her to rest. If she was feeling as bad as she looked, she needed to rest. Her response was partially expected, but also unexpected.

She didn't move from my grasp, but instead turned her head and faced me with an expression that held several emotions, and none of them positive.

She appeared scared, hurt, and almost betrayed. I should have chosen my words more carefully.

"Why would you… Don't say that… to me…" I waited, noticing that she used a contraction. She didn't flinch, wince, or react in any way. Why didn't she react? Could she use them when feeling heavy emotions?

"I'm sorry." I stepped back away from her and lowered my hand. She turned her body to me, still looking scared and upset, but the look of betrayal was gone, as though it were never there.

"You know nothing of what I went through, Alex. When I was kidnapped…" She trailed off, shaking her head. "Please," I noticed her voice cracked, "be cautious of what you say. I do not want you to have to deal with another of my episodes." She turned her head from me, those emotions gone, but instead shame and embarrassment in their place.

"Seiyra, I don't mind taking care of you when you're upset. After all, you welcomed me into your home without hesitation. I owe you."

"Still, my problems are mine. They are not here to be a burden to you, Alex. You have enough on your own shoulders." She breathed out slowly, then made direct eye-contact. "So, please, do not worry about me. I am alright."

"Alright, if you really want to be difficult, we're doing this my way." I paused and raised my arms, reaching for Seiyra.

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Two chapters in one day... How lovely! And at last, though I'm certain it was predictable, it has been revealed as to why Seiyra talks the way she does. The last few paragraphs, basically since Seiyra came back, were a little... Unexpected on my part. I didn't initially intend for Alex to sorta threaten Seiyra. But the development will turn out in my favor in the end, actually. The next chapter will show why. Once again, and like always, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter!


	5. C5 Not Exactly What She Expected

How about another chapter? Yes? Well, alright! For starters, I would love to thank every single one of my lovely reviewers, followers, favorite-ers, and so on! You all mean so much to me! Well, without any of you, I'm not certain I'd have found this much inspiration to write three chapters in two days! That's impressive, especially for me! So, I hope each of you enjoy this chapter!

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Seiyra's POV

It took me by surprise, that much was certain. I expected him to hold me down and force me to sleep somehow. But, no, he didn't do that.

"Wh-what are you…" An immense blush graced my features the moment I felt Alex's arms envelop my thin frame. He lifted me with ease and carried me awkwardly over to the couch. He set me on one side, and sat beside me. Before either of us could get comfortable, he leaned forward, placing the bags on the table then reached over and grabbed my shoulder.

He looked at my expression before carrying on with whatever he was planning. He was gentle in the next, unexpected action. He pulled my torso to him, pushing me down onto the couch. From this distance, my head reached his thigh. Instinctively, I attempted to push away from the general area, a panic settling in my chest.

Alex was ready for my disproval, and didn't allow me to move far from my position. I made it a mere few inches from his thigh before he pushed me back down.

My frame was tense, and I stared wide-eyed at the wall farthest from us.

"Seiyra." His voice caught my immediate attention. "Relax. I will not hurt you."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm attempting to provide you with a comfortable position to rest. Take it, Seiyra. You and I both know you like me. Enjoy the close comfort, and rest."

For a moment, I couldn't talk. I wanted to deny it, but I had already admitted several times to liking him. I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it. I sighed. "Alright. You know I trust you. Do not abuse that trust."

"I never would, Seiyra." Somehow, I was able to take his word for it. He sounded genuine. "Seiyra?"

"Yes? Do not worry, I cannot fall asleep quickly anymore. I will be awake for a while."

"What kind of food did you get?" For some reason, this made me chuckle. Such a simple question. Something unlike what I would expect him to ask.

"Oh, everyone is given the same general food. Each person is given half a loaf of French bread, a soup of their choosing, and several fresh fruits, also of their choosing." I leaned up, to which Alex immediately reacted by pushing me right back down. "Ah, I was just going to get the bags…"

"I will get them." Alex straightened and lifted his hand over me.

"I, um, I chose several items that you liked before you lost your memories. I hope that is alright?"

"Yes, I don't think I'm a picky eater. But, hell, I don't really know."

I watched as Alex attempted to reach the bags with me on his lap. "And this is why you should have let me get the bags." I sighed, but my breath caught when his hands suddenly formed his claws. I absently grabbed for the hand that still remained on my shoulder and pulled it in front of me.

I played with the hand, following the grooves and blades like I did before. I heard the bags rustle, aware that he managed to grab them somehow. I didn't bother seeing how, being too fascinated by his claw. Without warning, Alex sat back, and his claw de-manifested.

"Go to sleep, Seiyra."

"Give me a handful of my red raspberries, first." I reached a hand out to him halfheartedly. I was both hungry and tired. Not that I would admit it to him.

"Here." The bag rustled, then I felt warmth on my palm, followed by coldness from the raspberries. I pulled them in front of me and started eating. Only having seven or eight to eat, I finished quickly.

Initially, I started on my left side, facing Alex's knees. I turned onto my other side, positioning myself on his thigh, but at a comfortable distance from everything I don't want to touch.

"Tired?"

"I… have been. I guess I should not bother trying to deny it anymore. I have not been feeling well for a few days. Today has been the worst day, though." My eyes closed as I curled into a loose ball. My arms folded in front of me, near my chest, and close to Alex's form. My legs rested lightly, kept close together.

"What symptoms have you had? Not that I can diagnose you or anything like that."

"Um… I have experienced constant exhaustion, dizziness a few times, faintness, upset stomach, uncontrollable trembling… and one case of slight nausea." Thinking back, I experienced most today, excluding the nausea, which was a few days ago, and only happened for a few minutes, and was fairly weak.

"With no symptoms all that extreme, I suppose rest would be likely to help." He seemed uncertain of himself, but neither of us had any medical knowledge. And even if I needed a doctor, I don't trust them, and I wouldn't have the money to afford one.

"It is all I can do to try helping it." I could tell I was close to falling asleep. Between everything in the past few days, and to top off the fact that I didn't feel well, things just kept adding up. "And… I am asleep. Do not disturb me."

Alex chuckled at my joking tone. "Yes, your highness." I smiled lightly at this. Slowly, I continued to drift off. The last thing I heard and felt, was that of Alex eating. His warmth comforted me, sending good dreams into my mind. At first.

Alex's POV

For someone who apparently doesn't fall asleep quickly, she certainly did this time. Her resting form was as mesmerizing this time as it was the first time I saw it. She was so vulnerable and defenseless, I felt entitled to protect her.

For a while, I ate. However, I waited to my bread and soup, and instead ate some fruits. The fruits consisted of apples, oranges, red raspberries, which Seiyra seemed to like, strawberries, and blueberries.

When I finished with a fair amount of a share, I placed the bags on the floor beside the ouch, as to not disturb her sleeping.

Just as I sat them on the floor, I heard a low whimper. Followed immediately after that, Seiyra's hands grasped onto my jacket tightly, and her entire form trembled. Using my jacket as leverage, she pulled herself closer to me and further onto my lap. She curled up against me, and forced her arms around my waist.

For a moment, I hesitated, partially in shock, but then decided to comfort her. Using one arm to stroke her head, and the other to pull her closer, I did what I could best to comfort her.

"_Why haven't you come_?" Hearing these words, I was instantly paralyzed. She was talking about me; about my failure to rescue her from her torturers. Somewhere inside, I felt torn, as though I had failed her. And I suppose I _had_ failed her. Just, what exactly aided in my failing? Why couldn't I find her when she was kidnapped? The only way I can hope to find out is by further reading the entries.

For now… I had my own searching to do. Taking advantage of her seemed low, but while she was so close, this would be the best time to search for the scar on her neck.

Carefully, I lifted a hand and brushed her hair to the side. Her body twitched at the light touch, but she seemed to press into my hand. I placed a little pressure onto her neck, partially to feel for a mark of some sort, but also to see her reaction.

Expectedly, she pressed herself further against my hand, her actions followed by a small moan. Her movement created a slight movement against my palm and I lifted it away. Shortly after, she lowered her head back onto my thigh.

Lowering myself to get a closer look, I noticed a small deep red bump a few inches below her ear. I ran my thumb over it, feeling it. It felt like what I would assume is an ordinary bump. Strange that it never healed properly, but with all the drugs that had been forced into her system, it might make sense.

Through my observation, I didn't notice she calmed down enough that she removed her arms from my waist and held them in front of her, hands close to her lips. Quiet, warm air slipped through her slightly parted lips, and for several moments, I found myself mesmerized in them.

I shook my head. I shouldn't be so focused on such a thing.

Now that she finally situated herself, I examined her position. Her legs pressed against the back of the couch pressing lightly against me. About mid-stomach and up rested on my thighs. She curled herself into a small enough space that she seemed comfortable in it. Her chin almost touched her chest as she bent her head so it would rest comfortably on my thigh, though it placed her fairly close to my groin. This was not uncomfortable to me, seeing as she was asleep. I don't know about my past self, but I would never make a pass on a girl who's sleeping.

I watched her as she slept, and while she shook her head, trying to move a lock of hair from her face. I laughed lightly at the attempt, then lifted a finger to move it myself. Gently, my finger brushed against her cheek as I moved the stray lock of hair.

The moment my fingers made contact with her flesh, her cheeks flushed. I stared for a moment, wondering if she were secretly awake. No, she couldn't have been, seeing as she looked exactly the same as if she were sleeping. An involuntary reaction, then? Probably.

With an unexpected yawn, I leaned forward, my upper torso lightly hovering over Seiyra's body. I placed one of my arms above Seiyra's head, gently wrapping around it, while the other rested lightly partially on and next to her hands.

It was comfortable enough that I fell asleep within a few minutes. I knew she was safe this close to me, and this made everything all the more comfortable.

But I dreamt that night. Before, my nights had been filled only with the events of my encountering Seiyra since I obtained amnesia. I recounted our experiences, her expressions, and even things that could happen. I dreamt of myself rescuing her from what was my impersonation of Blackwatch soldiers. I succeeded, but I frightened Seiyra with my violence.

But this dream was different. I'm not even certain it could be considered a dream, but rather fragments of… perhaps memories?

A series of images and occasional play-outs played through my head.

Random people crossed my mind, some held within my grasp, others lying about on the floor, blatantly torn open or apart. Some appeared to be talking to me. The most impressive one was of Seiyra. Her back was to me, with her hands held together behind her, pressed against her lower back. Her head was turned to me, looking over her shoulder. A wide, dazzling smile graced her lips, and her eyes were closed. She was absolutely beautiful. Just like she said, though, she looked completely different. Her eyes were the most distinct in difference. The long hair was also a strange difference.

But that image was replaced with the image of a different side of Seiyra; a frightened, defenseless, beaten side of Seiyra.

I appeared to be looking through a computer screen at Seiyra's bruised and tattered form as she lay sprawled on the floor halfheartedly.

The camera providing the image was close enough that I could see every detail with regretful resolution. First, I noticed her face. Her left eye was black and purple, and swollen shut. Her right eye was a sickening yellow, obviously healing from a past injury. Dry blood coated her right cheek and bled down to the left, over her nose, and stopped at the edge of the swelling in her left eye. And there it dried. Her lip was busted open, and lips parted fairly wide. Her eyes were closed, but she took in deep breaths that made it look as though she were in pain. If I listened closely, I could actually hear her panting through the speakers.

Her arms lay sprawled in front of her, and her legs lay below her body, carelessly. Her clothes were torn, ripped, and cut in random locations. A particularly large cut rested on her right side, which was the opposite side she lay on. It didn't appear to cut skin, but it cut from just below her bra, down to the complete bottom, completely giving access to her side, back, and stomach from that angle. In the open area, I noticed several varying shades of bruises.

For a moment, her breath hitched, then stopped.

But then her eyes fluttered open and she looked in front of her, to a particular spot. Her breathing resumed, and my dream-self exhaled audibly. She did not blink as she stared in the direction, paying extreme attention to the object.

She flinched suddenly. The camera shook, and I could hear slight mumbling. She moved, attempting to move away from the person that suddenly came into view of the camera.

The man had his back to the camera so all I could make out was his grey hair, black shoes, and long, white doctor's coat.

The man bent down beside Seiyra and grabbed at her long hair, pulling her hair back, and causing obvious pain. She called out, shouting one word; one name. "Alex!"

My dream-self's heart spiked and his fists clenched.

"Oh, yes, do call out, my dear. You know how I love the sound." The doctor laughed maniacally, before throwing her head down and releasing her hair. She responded with a shout, to which the doctor laughed again. He stood beside her, then ushered in another man. "Bring it." He spoke.

A younger man walked in, bringing a small needle with a sickly green liquid inside.

Without warning, the doctor spoke, saying unexpected words. "Now, how about I direct my next words to our audience? Alex," the doctor turned to the camera, now facing it, "if you are watching, I do so hope you are enjoying the show." He paused for a grin. "You see this needle? The green liquid is an advanced infection. It will do one of two things to Miss Valasil: turn her into and infected or kill her. The outcome depends entirely on her will to live." He grinned. "Unless, of course, you can find her and save her in time."

The doctor bent down and violently stabbed the needle into Seiyra's thigh. She cried out, curling in on herself. Immediately, she reacted. Her hands started clawing at the tiled floor desperately, and her legs moved slowly as though she were trying to move away. The doctor stood and dramatically placed his arms out on either side of him.

"Well, Mercer? The clock is ticking!" His head cocked to the side and he let out another wicked laugh.

My dream-self leapt forward and slammed his infected fist into the screen just as I heard Seiyra call out my name again. But the screen was broken. She was gone from sight.

Then the images disappeared, replaced by a real, worried Seiyra, her face just inches from my own.

"Alex?" Her voice whispered, hiding an emotion I couldn't place.

Seiyra's POV

I didn't dream for long, and when I did, the dreams ended quickly, being replaced by Alex. The dreams were normal, dreams I suffered from near constantly. They were hardly a bother anymore.

But it wasn't my dreaming that woke me. I wasn't dreaming when I felt movement outside of my dream; enough movement to wake me up. At first, I was confused, uncertain as to where I was and what I was feeling.

I somehow moved closer to Alex while sleeping, this much I was certain. However, the movements were foreign to me.

A pain sparked in my shoulder and surprised me. I gasped lightly, but didn't move. I looked at my shoulder, aware immediately that it was Alex's hand gripping tightly onto it. I looked up at him, to see him hovering just inches above my face.

I nearly shouted, but held it in. My face flushed and I stared at him for a moment before realizing he was in pain. Now was not the time to look at him, I needed to be sure he was alright.

"Alex?" I whispered his name, but I should have known it wouldn't be loud enough. "Alex!" I called out louder. Still, I received no reaction. I groaned as his grip momentarily tightened, then released. But he still did not wake. So I moved my entire body with a sudden movement. I quickly jerked my body forward. It was enough movement to rock through his body, and jolt him awake.

His eyes snapped open, and for a moment, I swear I saw the old Alex, the one who was familiar with me, the one who I believed cared for me. And then it was gone, replaced with the current Alex, the one who has amnesia and doesn't know me.

Two emotions sparked then, disappointment and relief. I didn't know why I was relieved, but I was. And that bothered me.

"Alex?" He blinked slowly, his eyes trailing down, away from my eyes. He eyed my body, which made me suddenly self-conscious, before his gaze returned to my eyes. Relief immediately followed. Again, I whispered his name.

"You're alright…"

"Well, yeah, I mean, I have been here-" I was cut off by Alex's arms forcing their way around me and pulling me up to him. "E-eh? Alex, what are you-?"

"I remembered something." He took in a small breath. "It wasn't much, but it was…" He trailed off.

"Alex? What did you remember?" I couldn't complain being this close to him, so I gripped onto his jacket. I spoke softly, not wanting to startle him.

"It started off with random images. Of people, of… these sick things chasing other people and eating them, of dead people lying around."

"The infected, yes. That was not your fault."

As though he didn't hear me, he continued. "Then you were there. At first, you were happy. You smiled so brightly… I hadn't seen anything like it. You don't smile like that anymore." His grip tightened on me, causing me to flinch, but not from pain. It was strange for him to touch me. He hadn't touched me much since I'd found him again. And yet here he was, full on embracing me.

"But then… The image changed again. This time you were lying on a tiled floor, held captive in a room. You were beaten and left alone. Then you were joined with a doctor who brought in a green liquid shot. He knew I was watching through a camera. And you hoped I was. You called out to me before he injected the liquid through your thigh. Either you become infected, or die. Neither happened. And it ended with my breaking the screen showing the two of you."

"Alex, enough. That is all over now. It no longer matters. Please, Alex, stop worrying about such matters." I released his jacket and shoved against his chest. His arms gave out, allowing me to push away. Rather than moving away, I simply moved far enough back to look at him.

He stared at me, a hopeless expression covering his face.

"I am alright, Alex. I am not hurt anymore. See? I look just fine. No injuries, no scars. No evidence of any past traumas." That was a lie. There were no visible scars with the clothes I wore. Most scares were internal and on my stomach and legs. Of course, Alex will never see them, so he will never know I'm lying. Not if things go my way.

"Seiyra…" Alex pulled me to him again, but not to his chest. By the time I realized what he was doing, his face was a mere inch from mine. While my eyes were wide, his were certain. He knew what he was doing, while I sat panicked and flustered.

He paused, either hesitating, or seeking a reaction, I was uncertain.

But, just because I was flustered didn't mean I didn't want to kiss him. I'd wanted to kiss him for a long time.

He advanced, seeing something he wanted, but just as he grazed my lips, he stopped. His eyes still held mine.

What was he waiting for? An open invitation? A different reaction?

_For me to push him away_?


	6. C6 Abandoned

Agh. Goodness. This took a while. It took me a long time to find any bit of inspiration. But once I did, man I just kept going! Many things in this chapter went differently than I initially planned... But they will suffice. I realized that some of the things I had planned really would not have worked. Anyhow, please, enjoy chapter six! I hope it's long enough and satisfying! (Though it's probably the worst chapter thus far...)

Thanks for the reviews:  
Shadow Lycan 99  
UndyingDaughter

Special thanks for sticking around to(Those who reviewed more than once):  
Desanion  
Gabe97

But thank you all so much, including the guests and unspecified visitors, for the reviews! Reviews mean so much to me and each time I get an E-Mail with a notification from FanFiction, I just squeal like a little fangirl. It's kinda strange... But thank you all so much!

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Apparently I didn't give the reaction he was looking for, because moments later, he pulled away. He pushed me away, to his side.

For a split second, I felt rejected. Then I remembered I shouldn't have expected something such as a kiss, seeing as he doesn't entirely know who I am.

The only thing he managed to do was barely graze my lips with his own.

Still, my cheeks were incredibly flustered even as he stared at me while I sat beside him.

"Sorry." He uttered the word, and turned his head from me.

I turned away from him and grimaced. "Do not be. It is alright."

"Why do you always do that?"

"What?" I barely finished the word before he responded, with a bit of anger.

"Always forgive me!"

"I…" I didn't know what to say. I never blamed him because I couldn't bring myself to. He lost his memory; therefore all things done in the past few days, now, and in the future won't be his fault. I cannot blame him. Not even a little. "I cannot bring myself to." I admitted in a tone just above a whisper.

"That's not good enough."

I looked over at Alex to see him grimace. He stood, and with a shake of his head, disappeared quickly out of a hole on the far wall before I could even comprehend what he was doing.

"Alex!" I stood so quickly, my vision faded, but even with the temporary loss of sight, I continued to pursue him blind for several seconds. I made it to the wall he jumped through and struggled to climb it. My weak limbs could hardly lift me, and I had little to nothing to work my feet against to help lift me. "Alex, you promised!" I shouted out just before I slipped against the wall, gaining a painful cut against my arm from a small rock that stuck out from the wall. I cursed and examined my arm.

The cut wasn't deep, but it was long and enough to draw blood. Vaguely similar to the cut gained from a cat who hasn't been declawed; only a little more violent looking.

I cursed again as the cut started throbbing. The pain was hardly worthy of my attention, considering what just happened.

Alex left; without a care. How was I supposed to respond to this? I mean… I just got him back, and he left on his own account…

But a part of me didn't care. I knew he was alive, and if he wanted to leave, so be it. Maybe one day I would run into him. Maybe one day I won't care for him. One day…

Of course, those were petty lies I told myself in an attempt to make myself feel that way. It may or may not work one day. Only time would tell. And until that day, I would ignore my feelings for Alex. That is, assuming this isn't an episode where he'll come back in an hour or so and apologize.

But I was wrong; so completely wrong.

Almost two weeks have passed since Alex disappeared. I never attempted to find him, knowing full well that I'd get lost or hurt somehow, what with me being _me_. My arm is healing nicely, luckily it wasn't infected. It's really only sore when I make direct contact on something in specific areas of the cut.

However, it does appear that it will scar, though faintly. But, hey, what's one more scar to add to my _collection_? A bitter smile crossed my lips as I looked at my now-bared legs.

I currently sat in my room on my bed in between changing clothes. I only just woke, and Alex is usually the first thing on my mind since he vanished. That or some nightmare I had, which only happened twice in the time he left.

I sighed heavily as I looked at my legs. The scars reached from near my inner thigh all the way to just below my knee. They all varied in size, length, and intensity. Some looked vicious, while others looked like mindless cuts gained while adventuring a thick forest in shorts.

"Ah, but of course, there are not wooded areas around here, are there?" I laughed lightly at this, but the smile that appeared disappeared almost immediately. "Ah, but I should get ready. I have another day to face." I did what I could to keep myself from thinking too much on anything in particular, worried I may get a wild hair and do something foolish, such as look for Alex.

"I would never find him. He would always be one step ahead of me. Or maybe ten..." I laughed lightly at my own little joke, then shook my head. It would be better to just move on with my life. It was likely better for him, too.

I grabbed the nearest set of pants, which were dark grey and slid them on with a simple white tank-top and a black, long-sleeved over shirt to help keep me warm in the cold days. It was officially winter as of yesterday, and the weather was getting unbearable; _already_.

I yawned as I stood, feeling the effects of lack of sleep over the past week. I stepped out of my room nearly stumbling over my own feet. "Jeez, I need to work on my balance."

I grimaced as the cold seeped through my only two pairs of socks and to the bottom of my feet. The cold is a violent, vile thing. It is nothing but a burden and provides no comfort.

And through it all, I prefer winter over summer. The main problem with winter is getting nourishment and making it last. Water is harder to find, and it's harder to make food last without freezing.

But, I'll worry about that when the time comes.

I walked around my small house before deciding the only thing I had to do today was make sure nothing had infected my arm during its healing process, then I would just lay around and be lazy during this cold weather.

With a look, I nodded. I was no expert, but I was pretty sure the light pink, fading scratch was healthy. Again, I'm not expert, though. I could have a hideous infection and never know!

As a random thought, I pictured myself saying that and throwing my arms up dramatically.

My thoughts hadn't strayed far from this general idea for the past week. I believe it's my mind's way of helping me cope with the absence of other people. If I just keep talking to myself and making myself laugh every so often, I'll be just fine!

"Well, I do not want to forget how to talk, after all!" I giggled lightly at this, bringing a hand to my lips. "Dear god, did I just giggle? What has become of me since I lost contact with humanity?" I groaned and allowed myself to fall onto my couch. I grabbed the blanket from under me and threw it over me for warmth.

"Maybe some sleep will help… I haven't felt well in a while…" While I did notice I slipped with a contraction, my exhausted self didn't care. I was much too tired to care about such petty things. Though my eyes closed quickly, it took me a while to finally fall asleep. I couldn't guarantee how long, but definitely a while.

But when I did, it was a comforting abyss of darkness. It held me in its warm grasp and cradled me into the deepest sleep I'd had in a long time.

Alex's POV

It was strange, how Seiyra acted without anyone around. I would say it was unlike anything I had ever seen before, but in my current state, I hadn't seen much.

Still, she acted lost, as though she were doing anything and everything to keep her mind off of… well, everything. She never dwelled on one thing for too long, though I only noticed this when she spoke aloud to herself.

Now, for the past… thirteen days, if I'm correct, I had been watching her. Since the day I left, I never strayed far.

When I left her house, it was to put distance between us. I almost kissed her, and I don't know what could have followed after. I don't know what my previous affiliations for Seiyra were, and if they were strong, I sure didn't want to take advantage of her while not remembering her. I wanted to be the Alex she knew, if I were to ever do such a thing with her.

But, then, that was another thought. When her Alex came back, what would become of _me_, this… _current_ Alex? Would I disappear, or would I conjoin with the lost Alex?

I wouldn't admit this to Seiyra, but I was scared to gain back my memories, and not because of my past. I was becoming a different person. I was becoming _a_ person. Alex was given the chance to recreate himself, and in the process, gave theoretical birth to someone else. And that someone was _me_. _Me_: who didn't want to let go and give Alex back, if it meant I would disappear, who wanted to make Seiyra happy, but to what cost?

How far was I willing to go to see her smile the way she did? I had hoped that's what my absence would do for her. Maybe that in seeing that smile, my memories would come back. When that didn't work, my mind searched for alternatives, and I stumbled across these thoughts, which proceeded only to place fear into my being.

I didn't want to lose myself, no matter what I could gain.

It was a greedy desire, this I was well aware of, but what was I supposed to do? Be willing to throw everything away to lose myself and give back everything I gained?

Or did this just seem to be some foolish thought? I was, and _am_ Alex Mercer, no matter what memories I have or don't have. So why should I be afraid to lose a part, to gain the original? It is what Seiyra would want, but is it what _I _would want?

My mind continued to ramble, even as I stared at Seiyra's barely-moving frame as she slept on her couch. She hadn't done much in the past few days other than examine the wound on her arm, though I don't know how she got it, or sleep. When she didn't do either of these, she talked to herself, keeping up a whole conversation on nearly any topic.

And to top that off, only three times did she leave her house to go get food. She seemed to be a good conserver of food, seeing as those small servings lasted her well since I'd been gone.

Still, night by night, I would enter her house and watch her. I watched her to make sure she was alright; to be sure nothing had happened during my absence in the daytime.

Nothing did ever happen. The only strange thing would be her strange way of coping.

Through it all, since I left her, I could only seem to dwell on several ideas.

One was my annoyance that she always forgave me no matter what I did. It seemed that no matter how badly I hurt her, she would never blame me. I caused her many instances of near-death and she still forgives me. In a way, it angered me. It infuriated me in strange ways. But I also felt a bit of relief. Knowing that no matter what accidents I may do to harm or upset her, she'll forgive me is rather calming.

Another annoyance is that she refuses to tell me certain things. She refuses to tell me directly what happened to her while in captivity. In many ways, I understand why she won't. After all, if I was in her position, I don't think I could share such things either.

Still, regardless of many things, I should return soon. She was clearly falling apart without some sort of social contact. And not once had my supposed sister, Dana, decided to come around. I was starting to question if she actually existed or if this was some addition to Seiyra's strange coping.

I suppose she would come around one day, if she truly does exist. I would just have to be patient.

For the time being, I intend to read another entry in Seiyra's diary. From previous observations, she will sleep for hours at a time during these episodes. I would have plenty of time to read an entry or two.

Quietly lowering myself into the main room of her home, I silently moved into Seiyra's room. I peeked around the doorway, ensuring she was still asleep. When satisfied, I reached under her mattress, grabbing at the journal. Wasting no time, I turned to entry four and began reading.

With an examination, I realized things were getting easier on me. It was strange, but the frequency of beatings and tests were dwindling down to about twice a week, when they used to be damn near daily.

I wasn't sure what was prolonging their… examinations, but I was thankful for it. Still, I didn't have much strength, seeing as I was only fed twice a day, and at that, I was given only bread and water. Occasionally, if I did something 'right', I would be given soup. I never knew what it is that I did right, seeing as I never obeyed their demands.

No matter how things got, though, I never allowed my hopes to drop too low. I knew Alex was trying to find me. I've only been in here for three weeks now. I should figure it will take him some time to find me. What with these guys keeping my identity and existence here a strict confidential. Only a select few Blackwatch members knew I was actually here. I was content with that to a degree, but in another sense, frusterated. While that kept much attention off of me, besides a select few… members, that also made it harder for Alex to gather information on my location.

A click pulled me from my trance and drew my attention to the door. Through the door walked a man I had not seen before. He was young, obviously. His hair was a light gold and his eyes a magnificent electric blue. He wore a white suit that was strangely suiting. His posture seemed to hold no harmful intent, so I didn't move from my position against a wall.

For a while now, I had been able to move, and I often took advantage of it by leaning back against a wall someplace. Before, the only thing I could do was lay on my sides, seeing as my stomach and back were often the target of assault. Because I hadn't been beaten in several days, I'd found that, regardless of the fading bruises covering several aspects of my figure, it was far more comfortable to be able to lean against a wall.

"It is time to eat, Miss Valasil." The man walked over to me, holding out a platter with bread and a cup of water. For a moment, I stared at it, a little disappointed that there was no soup. "Come on. You need to stay nourished, Miss Valasil."

"I know." I grabbed at the platter and set it down in front of me. I glanced at the bread, rather disgusted. Not in the sense that it wasn't appealing, but that it wouldn't hold much flavor. I've grown tired of plain bread and water.

Still, I grabbed at the bread and tore a piece off, and stuck it in my mouth. I needed to eat, and refusing the only thing they would give me would not help my situation.

As I ate, the man stood only a few feet from me, facing my general direction. Casting a glance as I stuck another portion of the bread in my mouth, I confirmed he was watching me.

"Aren't you going to thank me, Miss Valasil?" His voice held a hint of a playful undertone. My body went rigid, but I quickly hid it by grabbing at my glass of water.

"No." I blinked slowly, acting as though I didn't care. I brought the water up to my lips and drank slowly, each gulp causing my broken and fractured ribs to ache.

"Really now?" His voice changed directly from harmless to venomous.

"I refuse to thank a single one of you. I've no reason to." I spoke without taking even a single glance at the man. I have no reason to thank the men who continued to keep me here, who continued to abuse and violate me. No way in hell would they get a thanks out of me. Not as long as I continued to know I would eventually be rescued by Alex.

I continued to eat, ignoring his presence. He didn't seem to agree with this, as the man stepped forward and unexpectedly lashed out, knocking the tray, and my water, away and onto the floor. Having been holding onto my bread, I managed to save that much.

Throwing my head up, I glared viciously at the man. His expression held nothing but fury, yet I wasn't scared of him in the slightest.

"Well? Do it. Hit me. You won't be the first. Nor will you be the last, I'm certain." Placing what was left of my bread beside me, in what appeared to be the cleanest section near me, I stood. I stared defiantly at him, daring him to hit me.

"You're lucky, Miss Valasil. I was given direct orders not to harm you." With a deep breath, the man lifted his hand, and lightly grazed my cheek with his fingers. I shivered at his touch in disgust. "But remember; the superiors will not always protect you. They do so love to do their experiments. It is only a matter of time, Miss Valasil."

With obvious restraint, the man removed his hand from my cheek and turned to leave. With an audible slam, he left the room, leaving me alone in silence. The moment I was certain he was completely gone, I sighed audibly and leaned back against the wall behind me.

"I'm getting tired of this." I sighed heavily and leaned over, staring at the floor below my feet. "Hurry up, Alex. I can only take so much more."

I ate the rest of the bread in silence, and, in a way, mourned over the loss of my water. I was incredibly thirsty, and had no way to quench it besides licking up what remained on the floor like a starved mutt. I would never allow myself to sink so low. Not in the presence of those seeking to destroy my entirety.

I was very tempted to do such a thing, but with the realization that a fair portion of liquid remained in the glass due to its unique shape and design, by some miracle, I drank it. While not the most satisfying glass of water I've ever had, it sufficed. It was a wonder the glass didn't break.

Still, knowing that I would not have my ever-burning thirst quenched intil morning was a hard fact. So I decided quickly that I would sleep until that time came. It would, or should, be the easiest fix to this problem.

And I did just that. I fell asleep fairly quickly, into a dreamless oblivion. Needless to say, it was the best sleep I'd had in a while. With only a few aches, most minor, and a decently fed stomach, I found sleep easy to welcome. I slept for hours, but my waking was a rude one.

Because I didn't hear any sounds coming from Seiyra, I continued reading, not allowing myself to dwell on any particular thing quite yet. Not until I read this next entry.

A dreamless night was something I hadn't been privileged with in nearly two weeks. But that gift didn't last long.

With a strangled cough, I was abruptly woken. An intense pain in my gut had my body doubled over, my hands gripping desperately at it, attempting to force air inside.

Finally, after several moments of panic, I managed to catch my breath. Following that wondrous breath were a series of coughs.

"Good. You're awake." I recognized the voice immediately. It was the same doctor that attempted to assault me. The very one who attempted to get me to do many things, such as talk 'properly' by some fucked up definition, to obey his every wish and demand, and to always provide the worst punishments when I wouldn't comply; which was never. "Now get up, Miss Valasil."

"Fuck," I took in a ragged breath, "you."

"My. It is truly fascinating just how stubborn you are." The doctor leaned over me, grinning. "I intend to break that." I could see the glimmer in his eyes showing he wasn't lying. I knew full well this doctor meant everything he said. He wasn't one to attempt to fool his test subject, to try and comfort it before torturing it. He was the type to tell you exactly what he would do before he did it and enjoy the horror his subject experienced every second.

"You can try." I glared up at him defiantly.

"Oh, I intend to." He straightened and turned from me, fixing some aspect of his attire that apparently wasn't 'perfect'. He turned his head to the side, speaking to me. "Now get up, Miss Valasil. Today is a big day."

"Yeah? And why is that? So you can perform another experiment?" I refused to stand, as I remained on the ground where I woke.

"If only. No, we are relocating you." This caught my attention.

"And why is that?" I asked sarcastically.

"That is none of your concern, Seiyra. Now do as you were told." His voice grew hard. I knew full well if I didn't obey his word, I would be either forced or beaten, if not both. I was just too stubborn to care. I would not give into any ounce of fear these men provided. So I remained in my position, not moving an inch, other than to cross my arms and lower my gaze just a little to gather a better glare.

"No." The doctor turned to me, clearly puzzled.

"Miss Valasil, I will force you if you do not move."

"Do it." I dared him, glaring directly into his eyes.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." The doctor, in a surprisingly quick movement, leapt over to me and grabbed at my long hair. Locking his hand firmly into my long, brown hair, he pulled me upright. I grit my teeth, but refused to cry out. "Now come along."

With a violent tug, the doctor began to pull me along behind him. I barely managed to keep my footing. Because of the length of my hair, I found that if I were to try biting his wrist, I certainly could.

With a lunge forward, I grabbed his arm and forced his wrist near my open mouth. Not expecting my assault, the doctor stopped suddenly and before he realized what I was doing, I bit so violently into his wrist I drew a significant amount of blood. The bitter taste of his blood almost caused me to release his wrist, but I refused to until he released me. Instead, I cringed as a violent shiver ran down my spine.

"Agh! Let go you bitch!" I don't know what surprised me more; the fact that I managed to finally get him to curse, after everything, or that he used his free hand to hit my temple.

The shock to my temple nearly caused me to release his wrist, but I recovered quick enough to bite down even harder, earning me both more blood as well as another swipe to my temple. This time, my vision darkened, but I felt him release my hair and attempt to claw at my ear. I released his wrist and drew back immediately from his range. In my blinded state, I stumbled over myself and fell back with a grunt.

When my vision cleared, I noticed the doctor was far too distracted with his bleeding wrist than that of my current disposition.

A thought struck me with vicious clarity. We made it outside of that room I had been confined in for three weeks. Though I stood just barely out of the door way, there was a clear exit from this outer room.

While entranced in his wrist, I took this chance to bolt past the doctor and out the doorway that would surely lead me outside.

The doctor shouted out behind me, then cursed audibly.

Ignoring the pains that followed my efforts to run, I forced my way around corners and through doors. It would be hard to escape, especially since I would be certain to run into several Blackwatch soldiers and doctors. But, still, I ran.

Already breathless only a few minutes into my run, I found it hard to continue running, but I managed.

"Stop her!" A shout behind me startled me into running faster. "Do _not_ kill her!"

My heart began racing faster as I struggled to find my way out of this maze of a building. "Where the hell... Is the damned exit?!" I panted heavily. "God... damnit..." I hadn't realized exactly how out of shape I'd grown to become in my three weeks of poor nourishment and no exercise.

With the sudden surprise of a Blackwatch soldier before me, I forced myself to stop short. Only feet before him, and him ready to tackle me, the fastest idea to spark was to attempt leaping past him. So I would try.

I watched the man in the suit, carefully examining his movements, no matter how slight. With a sudden twitch of his right shoulder, I knew he was about to leap at me. Sure enough, he did, to which I carefully lunged to the side and forced myself forward and out of his reach.

I continued running, though I found myself running low on energy rapidly. It was only a matter of time before I couldn't continue.

With a burst around a corner, I stopped short. Before my eyes, at the opposite end of the hall, stood Alex. Too surprised to call out, I stood shocked for several moments before I found my voice.

"Alex-!" Just as I shouted out, a hand grasped over my mouth and another around my stomach, pulling me back against them. The person pulled me around the corner, out of Alex's sight. _He came for me_! That seemed to be all I could think. I finally wouldn't have to endure anymore pain. I wouldn't have to worry about being assaulted or tested anymore.

This realization overwhelmed me with such a wonderful sense of joy that it sent tears into my eyes.

I heard what I believed to be Alex's footsteps running down the hall toward me. Any moment now he would turn around the corner and rescue me. Any moment now... I would be free.

Against everything I hoped for, against my deepest desire, Alex ran past the hallway, not casting a single glance in my general direction. I attempted to lunge forward, to call out to him, but any noise I made was muffled and wouldn't reach him. The grip on me was strong enough to keep me in place. All was lost once again. I lost my only salvation, just like that. Even though, just seconds ago, it was so close I could taste it.

I collapsed then. Exhaustion and despair gripped at my mind and began to devour me. I crumbled to the floor, not caring in the slightest for the man- I never cared to see who he was- who hovered over me. All was hopeless once again. At this rate, I would never be rescued. I would never escape from this place. Never again would I be free.

The sooner I accepted this, the better.

_That was what I had thought. I thought that if I stopped hoping, things would be easier on me. That maybe if I succumbed to their desires and demands, I could live another day without much, or any, pain._

_How wrong I was. And it didn't take me long to relapse back into my stubborn self, thankfully. But... In that time... No. I can't discuss that in any form yet. It's too soon. Maybe another day..._

I found myself feeling immensely pissed for an uncertain reason. Perhaps it was that I was so near to her and was unable to rescue her. So why did I go straight and not even look to the side? Surely I would have thought to look in every possible direction...

Unless, that is, something caught my attention. That is a possibility. Didn't I, before my amnesia, state that I had a sense that would help me find whatever I was looking for? Why didn't I think to use it, then? How does that sense even work? If I could just remember that much...

A slight shuffle out in the main room caught my attention. Following shortly after was a small voice, unmistakably that of Seiyra's. "Alex..." I froze at my name, and slowly turned to the doorway.

* * *

Well... Was it that bad? Or is it just my imagination? Do you have any suggestions?


End file.
